Make a wish come true

Hello blogateers and non blogateers and many welcomes to all and sundry ūüôā As dad was struggling with his teaching I decided to help him out by sharing with him my considerable knowledge base, in the hope it might stimulate his brain cells (wishful thinking I hear you cry). I therefore asked dad if he… Continue reading Make a wish come true

Partners in crime

href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/2017/08/04/partner/”>Daily Prompt: Partner

Foggy returned to his spot on the fence¬†a few days later¬†– Alas myself and Molly had nothing to offer having disposed of the cracker and worm. The cracker was delicious and I bet the worm would have tasted delicious too if Mel hadn’t stopped me from eating it.

We stared at Foggy and decided he was lonely and wanted some friends, but because he was French couldn’t communicate with us. I had picked up some French in the preceding days by chance.¬†I had heard mum¬†say to dad¬†“Pardon my¬†French” after she had said some words I hadn’t heard before. Myself and Molly therefore armed with these new found “French words” decided to communicate with Foggy

“Bollocks, ¬†bollocks, wanker bollocks wanker” we shouted in tandem, Nothing, Foggy didn’t budge, we got no reaction apart from a very stern telling off from Mel and Lisa for our attempted French. Mel asked me who had taught me such language and I proudly proclaimed it was my mum, Lisa said¬†she would be having “words” with my mum when she next saw her (not French words I’m guessing)

We were duly shepherded into the nursery building and separated, because as I heard Lisa say we were “partners in crime” Well I don’t know about you but I certainly was not aware that speaking to a cat in a foreign language was a criminal offence. You learn something new every day they say

Sitting in my lovely bubbly bath that night I asked dad if he spoke French. Dad just¬†laughed and said “mange tout Daisy mange tout” I was duly impressed.

The felt tip pen and the standing Ovation

via Daily Prompt: Ovation As I sat pondering the meaning of life, my friend Molly approached missing one shoe and clutching a felt tip colouring pen, lidless. Her smile of excitement was somewhat diminished by the fact she had been using the pen on the canvas that was her face. Her initial babble was lost… Continue reading The felt tip pen and the standing Ovation

The Expert and the elephant

An expert Molly informed me is a grownup who knows about everything or believes they know about everything. Whether they do is another matter – they tell people they are and other people believe it to be true. Experts also have bigger heads than non experts and their teeth are very white – you know this because they smile a lot. They also invariably have an elephant in their room, a skeleton in their closet, a monkey on their back and an awful lot of baggage

Molly told me their heads have to be bigger because they have to fit a lot more stuff in. To be an expert you need to know everything there is to know about everything – now I am only a toddler but already I know lots of stuff,¬†however and¬†sadly¬†my head is not very big and nor is Molly’s, so we are not experts. Well maybe not just yet.

We however would like to be experts. Although I am happy with my head size and so is Molly we are driven in our quest for expertise status by the fact you get an elephant, a monkey and an awful lot of luggage. Incentive enough I hear you cry and you are not wrong. And to cap it all off they throw in a skeleton.

Laters Aligators

 

 

Magical Cakes

Hello my fans of eternal patience

Once again I have been away from my blogging exploits for a very long time. I have missed you all but have been very busy growing up. This entails, and not in any particular order of importance, getting bigger, this being a natural phenomenon and not related to my love of cakes.

I shall digress slightly and inform you all that cakes are delicious (I know you all know that) but did you know that they are also magic. It transpires that we grow naturally up until we are 18 or 19 years of age. I therefore have an awful lot of growing left. However once you naturally stop growing, if you eat lots of cakes you will continue to grow bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. This does not happen if you eat apples or lettuce or carrots or turnips. That is because they are not magic, and nor are mushrooms. That is obviously why everyone eats lots of cakes – because they are magic.

Growing up also means you grow things that you didn’t have when you were born. I have now grown a full head of curly locks and a mouth full of teeth and according to my dad I have grown into a little madam and a pain in the a$&e. I however do not know where the last 2 things are. I have looked for them on my body but cannot locate them anywhere.

Growing up also means learning to do new things and learning about things that are new. I am therefore learning to talk – now I am a bit miffed as I am able to talk and have been talking since I was basically born. The fact grownups don’t speak or understand “babble” as they call it is not my problem. Thank goodness therefore that I go to nursery five days a week and am able to have perfectly rational conversations with my peers. Unfortunately we are then forced into learning a language like English or Hungarian if you have not had much to eat.

Growing up also means developing your personality and for some reason that means that grownups shout at you more. Its all a mystery to me why grownups get so flustered by my behaviour. If I wish to have a good run which means running into a busy road in front of a bus, or running away from my parents in the high street, or showing my extreme displeasure when my toast and jam is not passed to me as quickly as I would like, or pee myself with excitement when watching Peppa Pig, or totally ignore my parents when watching Peppa Pig, or insert things into parts of my body my parents do not wish me to insert things into, then what is the problem – parents are sooooooooooooooooooo picky and stressed out. When I learn to speak English I shall tell them as much.

I shall be retiring to my cot so shall sign off for now

Laters alligators

Hamster Ban

Well I am now officially an international jet setting toddler of the universe РYes blog fans I am a passport holding battle hardened traveller to exotic climbs РI have indeed now been abroad Рabroad is not an Americanism for a lady but a place beyond the shores upon which I currently reside. I went with mum and dad to visit Graeme.

Now Graeme is living¬†abroad and specifically in a place called the Neverlands – I’m guessing the Neverlands must be very¬†close to the Alwayslands and the Nowandagainlands. I was a bit concerned going to the Neverlands as I guessed not a lot happens there given¬†they never do anything¬†– my concerns were then¬†further accentuated upon discovering¬†we where going to a place in the Neverlands called Hamsterban. Now I am more of an elephant person myself, but certainly have got nothing against those¬†fluffy and adorable antisocial¬†little blighters commonly known as the Hamster. What the Neverlanders have against them is anyone’s guess.

To get abroad you normally have to fly on an aeroplane and so it was that mum and dad had booked us tickets to fly on an aeroplane. Mum had booked tickets with BA РBA according to dad stands for Bandit Airlines. A bandit apparently is someone who robs people of their money. I thought that was a bit misleading as my ticket was absolutely free Рyes blog fans  babies fly for free. Now there is a £15 baby surcharge and a £50 baby tax and because the airline know you will have to take a suitcase, because you are travelling with a baby, they charge you £50 to put the suitcase on the plane.  As you can imagine I was delighted to be travelling free for £115.

Because I was travelling free I did not get my own seat so had to sit on dads lap. It was a bit of a tight squeeze and there was not much room Рbut I was far to busy trying to see the cat dad referred to that was swinging about the place. It must of been down the back of the aeroplane because I never saw it. Then a lady wearing an awful lot of makeup and a young man with a very impressive crease in his trousers gave us a bag of nuts and a glass of apple juice. All free of course

I shall tell you about my stay in the Neverlands in my  next blog

Toodlepips for now